From Relapse to Resolution

How many of us are still focussed on those worthy resolutions made only a few weeks ago?

Our intentions may have been to lose weight, get fitter, give up an unhealthy habit, be a better friend, exercise more …a long list of things, which often arise because of things we think we should do, so we turn them into our resolutions. The main error here is that without a why and without a plan they are destined to fade away on or around January 4th.

So, I want to share three adjustments in your thinking about resolutions, to give you the chance of success and ability to counteract the self-sabotage.

Think back to those resolutions, now is the time to revisit and refocus

STEP 1.Why is this important to you personally ?

Write down all the things, which come into your mind, (be aware that this process can trigger some emotions.)

Then select the most compelling reasons and write them on a separate piece of paper in big bold capitals or coloured ink

You have the WHY clear in your mind

STEP 2. Get specific

If your goal is about doing more or less of something then quantify how much or how little by when. Set realistic weekly targets that logically lead to the main goal.

If your goal is about giving something up, then make sure you create the best environment to be successful, change your habitual patterns, establish enjoyable activities.

Write down your goal and the steps to achieve it down, you now have the HOW

STEP 3 Change your self talk.

Tune into your inner voice and be aware of any frustrated or irritable chatter about things being “too hard, too difficult, too much effort or too slow to see results”. Recognise this for the sabotaging influence it really is and change inner voice to “although its challenging I can do it, I am choosing to do so because it is worth it for me to deal with the frustration, make the effort.” by changing your self talk in this way you are developing a high tolerance to the frustration.

The clearer and more compelling your goal is the easier it is for you to increase this high frustration tolerance muscle

A combination of this shift in thinking and acknowledging your achievements will give you the SUPPORT to keep you on track

Beverley Harper is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist contact her at